By Erin Whitehead, Marine Spouse
Congratulations! The movers have delivered your household goods and you did not end up on the news with the headline “local resident new to the area, chased down a moving truck on a riding lawn mower after they refused to put together the king-sized bed frame, leaving the mattress in the kitchen.”
All of your belongings have arrived, mostly in one piece. The movers are long gone, and now you are left with the daunting task of putting your new household together. If you are like many military families, you asked the movers to set up the furniture in the appropriate rooms. You may have even asked them to unpack a room or two, like the kitchen. But as the piles of belongings started to take over, you decided to leave most of the stuff packed in boxes so you could unpack it at your convenience. And now, you are staring at the mountain of boxes that inhabit each and every room thinking, “Why in the world do we have so much crap?!”
I did a very scientific polling of my Facebook friends, many of them military members or spouses. I asked them to share their very best tips for unpacking after a move. As someone who has lived in 12 different homes during 17 years of marriage, I have a few tips of my own. What resulted is a list of 10 MOSTLY reasonable (and sometimes ridiculous) tips for unpacking all that crap. Please add your mostly reasonable tips in the comments. It takes a village to keep us sane through all these PCS moves, folks!
Take your time
You do not have to kill yourself to get every single thing put away in the first week. Sometimes, getting the kitchen and the bedrooms mostly squared away and then taking a break to explore your new town, can help to avoid a major meltdown. Moving to a new area should come with a sense of adventure, not scribbling a “I’m running away from home and moving to Jamaica” note on one of the 7,836 sheets of paper you now have sitting in your garage. Put some of those boxes in the garage and give yourself a break. Just think, it will be like Christmas in 3 months when you finally get to that box marked “sporting equipment” and find the mixing bowls you thought were lost forever!
Get it all done right away
Oh, yes. I realize this is a major contradiction from the first tip here But none of us are cut from the same cloth, right? While I may be able to put the boxes aside and worry about them later, it might literally drive my next-door neighbor to drink heavily if she doesn’t just buckle down, pull 3 all-nighters hopped up on Starbucks, and get the entire house (curtains hung and wreath on the front door) completely squared away.
If you are the kind of person who might be found roaming the neighborhood in a bathrobe, carrying a box of wine, chanting “no more boxes, please NO more boxes” over and over… by all means… just get it done. I will even congratulate you on how fast you did it even though I might secretly be plotting to shave your eyebrows off in your sleep.
Sell all your boxes at auction and just start over
Be honest. We have all thought about it. One day, I am going to be in complete awe of someone who actually has the nerve to do this. Can you imagine? All of your stuff is delivered and you host a big auction where people bid on your boxes and take them away without you opening a single one. Bidders will never REALLY know what they get, because “kitchen appliances” MIGHT mean a kitchen aid mixer and coffee maker… or it might mean half a bottle of motorcycle oil, a shower curtain, and half broken Christmas ornaments. Going once, going twice… SOLD! Now, let’s go shopping!
Hire some help
Yep, you heard that right. At the VERY least, hire a sitter to come and keep the kids entertained while you are putting stuff away. Bonus tip: If the kids are not around when you unpack, the toys you couldn’t quite get rid of before the packers came can be thrown into a “donate” box before they are “reminded” of that prized possession (that they never play with). Secret bonus tip: this also works with spouses who tend to hoard certain items. However, please use caution if employing this technique. It has been known to cause marital discord. Additionally, hiring someone to keep your spouse entertained can bust open the rumor-mill, especially if you have moved into base housing.
You can also hire someone (think a teenager who wants to make a few extra bucks) to unpack boxes and help you get things put away. I hear it is well worth the money to do this and is something I fully intend to do the next time we move. Let’s be honest, I should probably hire someone to come unpack the half dozen boxes that are still in my house from our move over a year ago.
Get a “PCS Partner”
Here is what you do. Find a friend who is also PCSing at the same time you are. Agree to travel, at the same exact time, to your friend’s house (and he or she to yours) to do all of the unpacking, sorting and organizing of each other’s household goods. It’s always easier to organize someone else’s crap, right? The rules are simple, you can each organize the home how you see fit and also get rid of anything you deem ridiculous, like that empty beer bottle collection or 500 yards of fabric you are MEANING to use for a Pinterest project.
Yeah, I couldn’t do it either. I’m actually having major anxiety just typing it. But, it might work for someone. Let me know how it works out for you.
Enlist the whole family
As one of my friends said “I am not the only person who will be living here… everyone needs to help!” If your spouse is still on leave, tackle the big rooms together (like the kitchen). Give teenagers the freedom to organize their own rooms. No, it may not be done the way you will do it, but who cares if the underwear is in the bottom drawer instead of the top drawer, right? At least it is done, and you didn’t have to do it. Smaller children can be given smaller tasks, like unwrapping all the stuffed animals (because, clearly, they needed to be wrapped in paper) and putting them away.
Send your entire family on vacation and do it yourself
Unpacking and organizing an entire home can be a great bonding experience for some families… and for others? Having help is great… unless it’s not, and that is completely a personal choice. There is nothing wrong with saying, “I love you all fiercely. Now, you all need to leave for 5 days so I can get this house put together. Send me pictures, try not to drive your Dad crazy!” Then crank up your favorite tunes, try out all the food delivery services in your new town, lock the doors… and get it done!
Have a “Moving IN” yard sale
Have boxes and boxes of stuff that just doesn’t fit or feel right in this new house? Not really excited about keeping that dresser in the kitchen because there is literally no where else to put it now that your bedrooms are smaller? Instead of piling it all in the garage, HOPING the stuff will fit in the next house, just have a yard sale and get rid of it! You can make a few extra dollars to buy curtains that actually WORK in your new living room. And you might even meet some neighbors in the process.
Just be sure to follow this one rule: If it doesn’t sell, it must be donated… don’t let it come back into your house once you have decided it can go! Take it to your base consignment store or local charity and say goodbye forever!
Get rid of those boxes and paper
It can be tempting, if you know you are going to be moving again in 6 months or a year, to save the boxes and packing paper if you are considering a do-it-yourself move next time. BUT… it might not be worth it at all because boxes and paper are a breeding ground for bugs and rodents. As in, mice, rats, and big, flying cockroaches. Okay, let’s all take a minute to breathe. The point is, once unpacked, you want to get rid of that stuff as soon as possible.
Post “free boxes and paper” on your local spouse page or craigslist, and you can probably get rid of them pretty quickly. But always, ALWAYS remember personal security. Don’t ever publish your address online. It’s a better idea to take your spouse with you and meet someone in a public place. You can also call your local recycling or trash pick-up service and ask them what their policy is to pick up bulk items. Many places will do it for free or a small fee. You just have to call ahead and schedule a pickup date.
Just live in a van down by the river
Moving frequently is enough to make even the most organized, level-headed person consider selling all of their belongings, and buying one of those tiny homes or an RV to live in. In fact, there are military families who choose this route and manage NOT to all kill each other. I reached out to a few of these families for comment, but they were too busy questioning their life choices to answer my email. I kid, I kid. But, as someone who actually DID this for 3 very long, anxiety-ridden months (where I consumed too much wine) with a husband, toddler, teenager, and a dog, I don’t recommend it for the majority of folks.
Living in a tiny space for a short period time did teach me that we can really do without as much “stuff” as we think we need, and how to better organize the stuff we do need into just about any space that we have to live in.
In fact, military life, and the frequent PCS moves that often come along with this life, can teach us valuable lessons about how we prioritize the “stuff” in our lives. So no matter how you choose to deal with the process of unpacking, getting it all done at once or taking your time, we can probably all agree on one thing: The most important “stuff” isn’t stuff at all. It ends up being the actual PEOPLE who we share our white walls with, instead of the possessions we try and make fit into whatever space we find ourselves living in until the next set of orders are issued.
Author: Erin Whitehead recently made her final PCS move to Florida where she is enjoying the beautiful beaches, sweet tea, and southern football rivalries, now that her husband has officially retired from the Marine Corps.